Motherhood

Motherhood! When one thinks of motherhood - love, purity, selflessness, no boundaries etc. are a few thoughts that come in mind. One cannot know what motherhood is until one really experiences it.

As a pretty new mom on the block, there are a number of things that go on in my mommy brain. Or shall I say, there are a number of things which are supposed to go on in my mind but the very thought of a tiny being pretty much erases or pauses all the other thoughts. I gave birth to my little baby bum a year and a half ago. Since then I have been meaning to write something about the whole affair of being pregnant, birthing and finally welcoming a little human being in to our lives. But like I said, the little dynamite put everything else on the back burner and he became the only one that matters.

Miracles happen. Yes, they totally do. In my opinion, carrying a child in the womb for 9 months and bringing him/ her in to existence is the greatest miracle any one can ever witness. By definition, miracle means ‘a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.’ Which makes every mother who gives birth a miracle maker or let us say, Divine Agency! But is that it? Is giving birth alone enough? While giving birth is a big deal, the real deal/ challenge begins after bringing the tiny little human to life. When a baby is born, a mother is born too. Just like the baby, the mother is scared of the whole new world before her. Does she know how to raise a child? Well until now, she herself was a baby to her parents and all of a sudden, this whole new responsibility falls on her shoulders. Is she terrified? Oh she totally is. Does she get doubts if she’ll be able to raise her child and do a good job with him/ her? You bet she does.

From the moment the baby is out of a mom’s womb, her whole world changes. Whatever the baby feels, she feels the same. How else can one explain the tears coming out of a mother’s eyes soon after she gives birth? She hears the baby cry and bam! Out start her waterworks too and there starts her job as a mother too. While battling her PPD and recovering from the MOST strenuous job she ever did, her heart goes out to this tiny little human being who needs her the most.

There are no shortcuts in motherhood. There are no excuses. There is no escape route. Is the baby crying? Who cares what you’re doing, go get the baby. Is the baby hungry? You could eat later, feed the baby first. Does the baby need a diaper change? You cannot rest, get on your toes and get the job done. Does the baby want to play? So what if it is the middle of the night? Go entertain him/her. And it is a never ending saga. Taking care of her baby and raising her child is the most noble and sacred job for any woman. She doesn’t know the ABC’s of it, but it is all ‘On the Job Learning’. And of course, a mother’s gut is always there to guide her. Trust me; if a mother’s gut says something, it is probably the best for her child.

One very important thing I’ve learnt after becoming a mom is, ‘NEVER JUDGE A MOTHER.’ Yes! I second this thought very much. Every child is different and the mother knows her child better than anyone else does. If she is dealing a situation in a total unconventional manner, it doesn’t make her a person – who doesn’t know how to raise a child. She is probably doing the best she can do, keeping in mind the best interest of her kid. If she fails, she learns and quickly moves on. If she succeeds, she gets ready for the next challenge. Whatever the situation is, a mother is always on the roll.

I recently read somewhere – An unhappy mom doesn’t raise a happy child. That is so true. A mother’s state of mind totally reflects on the kid’s behavior. There are days, where I lose it and raise my voice on my baby. When I do that, he only hears the tone and the volume of the words that I say. This in turn makes him shout back or make a fuss about something. On the other hand, when I deal the same situation with a calm and composed approach, he either listens to me or naughtily (happily) continues the mischief. A happy mischievous child is way easier to manage than an angry, fussy child. While having a calm and composed mind set to deal with a child is an ideal thing to do, does it naturally come to everyone? NO. Every mother, before becoming a mother was a person with her own unique personality. She probably was an aggressive, short tempered human being. She can definitely not change her personality overnight. Like I said before, a mother is not born with all the knowledge on how to raise a child. She learns, every moment, every day. Motherhood gives her patience, shows her how she can love someone more than her life and teaches her so many things. She makes mistakes, grieves about it and moves on to make some more mistakes and learn. All in all, she manages to give her child the best she can.

I can go on writing on this topic, but I stop here. That’s because, my baby may wake up any minute now. J

Last but not the least, I really like this saying and would like to mention it here. ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ My heart goes out to all those mothers who’re doing an excellent job in raising their children with no help (grand parents, maids etc.) around. Moms outside of India would know this very well J

Be happy and raise a happy child and the world will be a happy place to live in. Peace and love!!!!

Dedicated to my MOTHER and every mother on this planet.