Motherhood

Motherhood! When one thinks of motherhood - love, purity, selflessness, no boundaries etc. are a few thoughts that come in mind. One cannot know what motherhood is until one really experiences it.

As a pretty new mom on the block, there are a number of things that go on in my mommy brain. Or shall I say, there are a number of things which are supposed to go on in my mind but the very thought of a tiny being pretty much erases or pauses all the other thoughts. I gave birth to my little baby bum a year and a half ago. Since then I have been meaning to write something about the whole affair of being pregnant, birthing and finally welcoming a little human being in to our lives. But like I said, the little dynamite put everything else on the back burner and he became the only one that matters.

Miracles happen. Yes, they totally do. In my opinion, carrying a child in the womb for 9 months and bringing him/ her in to existence is the greatest miracle any one can ever witness. By definition, miracle means ‘a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.’ Which makes every mother who gives birth a miracle maker or let us say, Divine Agency! But is that it? Is giving birth alone enough? While giving birth is a big deal, the real deal/ challenge begins after bringing the tiny little human to life. When a baby is born, a mother is born too. Just like the baby, the mother is scared of the whole new world before her. Does she know how to raise a child? Well until now, she herself was a baby to her parents and all of a sudden, this whole new responsibility falls on her shoulders. Is she terrified? Oh she totally is. Does she get doubts if she’ll be able to raise her child and do a good job with him/ her? You bet she does.

From the moment the baby is out of a mom’s womb, her whole world changes. Whatever the baby feels, she feels the same. How else can one explain the tears coming out of a mother’s eyes soon after she gives birth? She hears the baby cry and bam! Out start her waterworks too and there starts her job as a mother too. While battling her PPD and recovering from the MOST strenuous job she ever did, her heart goes out to this tiny little human being who needs her the most.

There are no shortcuts in motherhood. There are no excuses. There is no escape route. Is the baby crying? Who cares what you’re doing, go get the baby. Is the baby hungry? You could eat later, feed the baby first. Does the baby need a diaper change? You cannot rest, get on your toes and get the job done. Does the baby want to play? So what if it is the middle of the night? Go entertain him/her. And it is a never ending saga. Taking care of her baby and raising her child is the most noble and sacred job for any woman. She doesn’t know the ABC’s of it, but it is all ‘On the Job Learning’. And of course, a mother’s gut is always there to guide her. Trust me; if a mother’s gut says something, it is probably the best for her child.

One very important thing I’ve learnt after becoming a mom is, ‘NEVER JUDGE A MOTHER.’ Yes! I second this thought very much. Every child is different and the mother knows her child better than anyone else does. If she is dealing a situation in a total unconventional manner, it doesn’t make her a person – who doesn’t know how to raise a child. She is probably doing the best she can do, keeping in mind the best interest of her kid. If she fails, she learns and quickly moves on. If she succeeds, she gets ready for the next challenge. Whatever the situation is, a mother is always on the roll.

I recently read somewhere – An unhappy mom doesn’t raise a happy child. That is so true. A mother’s state of mind totally reflects on the kid’s behavior. There are days, where I lose it and raise my voice on my baby. When I do that, he only hears the tone and the volume of the words that I say. This in turn makes him shout back or make a fuss about something. On the other hand, when I deal the same situation with a calm and composed approach, he either listens to me or naughtily (happily) continues the mischief. A happy mischievous child is way easier to manage than an angry, fussy child. While having a calm and composed mind set to deal with a child is an ideal thing to do, does it naturally come to everyone? NO. Every mother, before becoming a mother was a person with her own unique personality. She probably was an aggressive, short tempered human being. She can definitely not change her personality overnight. Like I said before, a mother is not born with all the knowledge on how to raise a child. She learns, every moment, every day. Motherhood gives her patience, shows her how she can love someone more than her life and teaches her so many things. She makes mistakes, grieves about it and moves on to make some more mistakes and learn. All in all, she manages to give her child the best she can.

I can go on writing on this topic, but I stop here. That’s because, my baby may wake up any minute now. J

Last but not the least, I really like this saying and would like to mention it here. ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ My heart goes out to all those mothers who’re doing an excellent job in raising their children with no help (grand parents, maids etc.) around. Moms outside of India would know this very well J

Be happy and raise a happy child and the world will be a happy place to live in. Peace and love!!!!

Dedicated to my MOTHER and every mother on this planet.

Chirpy Morning

It is a fine October morning of the year 2013. Fall is here. The leaves have decided to put forward their best appearance before they bid a goodbye. As the leaves start to fall, the temperatures are not so far behind. They start falling too. This is the time when hot sweaty days turn in to pleasant chilly days.

As I sat on my porch today with a cup of hot tea, a book, a devotional song (Suprabhatam by MS Subbulakshmi) playing in the background, slightly chilled wind gushing on to my face in regular intervals and the Sun trying to penetrate through a big tree near my balcony; I felt BLISS. I wanted the time to stop and experience the bliss forever.

When I was a child, we used to visit my grand parents’ place every summer. It is a town located on the coast of Bay of Bengal. Summers used to be very HOT and HUMID. So for obvious reasons, we all had our beds made on the terrace. Best parts were the nights and the early mornings. It used to be pleasantly chilled with little wind blowing and tall coconut tree leaves and palm tree leaves perfectly playing the role of an A.C.

The Sun came out quite early in the morning and I was compelled to wake up. I would unwillingly wake up and become a zombie. Journey from the terrace to the house used to be the longest at that point in time. I used to again try to go to sleep but all my trails would go in vain due to the heat inside the house. As a result I used to just go to the porch and sit there for a very long time (until my mom started screaming at me for not brushing my teeth).

There’s a temple located right across the street of my grandparents’ house. Needless to say, pujas and artis and archanas would start right from the start of the day. The ‘Suprabhatam’ played every morning and was a pure melody to the ears. The wind played its part perfectly and made the mornings heavenly.

The bliss I experienced today was no different than what I experienced then. Just that, I never really appreciated what I had when I was a child. And today when I am past all that I truly miss it and treasure it.

My grandparents’ house holds a very special place in my heart. Although my grandpa has now rented the house to someone else, I always have an urge to go there and relive all the moments.

The house is small yet it accommodated 3 – 4 families that paid a visit to it. We were a bunch of 4 cousins who met during every summer vacation and made the best of it. The house had a big backyard with numerous coconut trees. Toilets were located at the rear end of the backyard and the bathroom was right outside the house. Trips to the toilet were always fun and adventurous, especially after dark.

Every morning after freshening up, my grandpa used to pluck coconuts from the trees in our backyard and give us coconut water and coconut meat. After which he used to go to the market (on his red Kinetic) and get us seafood – prawns, fish, and crabs.

In the meanwhile, all the ladies would chit chat and do the household work. And we kids would run around and play endlessly.

We used to have relatives visiting our place throughout the day. The house was always filled with people and love.

As the summer vacation came to an end, we all bade goodbye to our grandparents and the house with a heavy heart and teary eyes.

It was around 7 years back when I bade goodbye to that house and didn't get a chance to be a part of it since. Nevertheless, the memories I have of it are priceless. We might not be in that house, but our family is still closely woven and we've made some new memories of being together.

Change is the only thing that remains constant. Although we hesitate to a change in the beginning, we do embrace it as time passes by. And it’s again time for a change. Even though we change houses, cities, countries; the love we feel in meeting our loved ones never changes. It only grows stronger.

Love to love and don’t hesitate to a change. By following these one can always experience BLISS.

I am a Wild Poppy

Staring out of my bay window, I see a deceivingly hot, bright and a sunny day. When continuously stared at, the day left me reminiscing about the sunny summer days I lived in my childhood.

Summer vacation is the best part of any child’s life and I am no different. We've all waited for the months of April and May throughout our school lives. The feeling of getting back home after taking the last exam is inexplicable and out of this world. The idea of sleeping for hours together after the exams never really came in to existence. All that ran in one’s mind was to play play and play.

Hide and seek, Red Letter, Gold Spot, Kho kho, Pittu (seven stones), Lock and Key, Land or Water (Nadi Parvat), Dog in the Bone, running races, Lemon and Spoon, Color color etc. etc. are some of the games we all grew up playing. The only agenda in life then was to play.

The day used to start with a nice but hurried breakfast as all of us wanted to get to the playground as early as possible. Lunch used to be a forced act as all the parents screamed out to their kids until they were home. Afternoon was the time, where we (my brother and I) enjoyed a sumptuous meal with our favorite cartoon show being played on the Cartoon Network. However, Sunday was a day where we used to eagerly wait for “Derek Obrien” and all the whiz kids to take over the “Bournvita Quiz Contest” with their general knowledge. After a little rest, it used to be ice cream time. We used to wait for the ice cream cart vendor to make a grand entry by continuously ringing the bell and shouting “Ice Cream, Ice Cream”. The moment the bell started to ring, all of us used to break out of our homes just like the poppy seeds thrusting their way out when its flower blossoms. The Ice cream treat was followed by a series of never ending games till the dusk.

Although, every single day was the same, it never seemed mundane. It never felt monotonous. Every day was as promising as the previous one. Every night presented us with a good night’s sleep. The mind was far far away from any cruel realities of the world. Differences between two people were as big as a mole and lasted for as long as a blink of the eye. It was like living a fairy tale.

As I look beyond the window and stare in to the eyes of the life, I feel blessed to have experienced such a beautiful childhood. I feel blessed to be a part of that time where the idea of having a good time included playing in the sun, riding cycle on the streets, chasing each other, screaming away to glory etc. etc. I feel blessed to believe that life is much beyond being virtually connected.

Life is full of life. And I wish the fullness of life in everyone's life! :)

It's a Beautiful Day

It’s a beautiful day and I thank god for it with all eternity.

When I woke up this morning, it was dark, cloudy and viciously white all around. I thought “Arghhh, not again..!” I dreaded getting out of the bed. The thought of a whole gloomy day ahead of me was scary. But life, as we know it, is cruel enough to pull one out of the bed even on a cold dark day.

As I woke up and started doing the household chores, the sun shone through the thick black clouds and the skies appeared clear. I was happy and wished that it stayed like that for the rest of the day. Little I knew that the clouds and the Sun were up to a game of hide and seek. As the day is passing by, am seeing a little of sun, a little of clouds and a little of both together.

Isn’t this like a metaphor for what life is? It indeed is. We experience bright and sunny days where everything seems to be in our favor. We experience the dark and twisty days, where nothing is good enough. And then we live those days where we feel just okay. Happiness, Sadness and Satisfaction respectively describe the above mentioned days of our lives.

When we’re happy, we’re too busy to look around and pay our gratitude to the universe. When we’re sad, we’re blinded by the grief to feel any compassion towards anyone or anything. It is when we feel just okay, we ponder on the moments of joy and the moments of sorrow. And that is when everything around us gets a meaning. That is when we get the courage of solving the never ending jigsaw puzzle of LIFE.

There are thousands of philosophies that try to explain what life is. But ultimately everything boils down to just one philosophy – “Life is how you see it.”

When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. When it offers you wine, relish it. And when it’s a dry day, enjoy the lemonade and wine moments :)

Belief is the keyword. When everything is black, one should believe that the darkness is not here to stay. When everything is white, one should believe that it will stay like that forever. When one starts believing the BELIEF, life goes on to a Grey mode. There is joy, there is sorrow and all in all there is a feeling of being content and satisfied. Being content is a feel good factor. A good feeling leads to a happy mind. A happy mind builds a happy soul. And a happy soul makes this world a better place to live in.

It’s a beautiful day. I thank the clouds for sparing us from the scorching heat and I thank the sun for throwing light and make us feel warm and happy.

It’s a beautiful life and I wish that the same beauty takes over everyone’s life.

Hyderabad to Chicago

“Welcome to O’Hare International Airport, Chicago. Thank you for flying with Air India, have a good day!”

I was finally on the US soil. We hear so much about US. Our aunts, uncles and grannies and grannas boast so much about their children/ relatives living in the US. It is the most talked about country in this world. Having heard and seen (thanks to the friends in Facebook) so much about it, I was ready to take on the challenge and live a life in the US.

Why would I call it a challenge? Well, I was just married then, I came to “THE US” (although I don’t think that way) and I was away from mom and dad. My head was full of questions – “Will I be able to manage here?”, “Will I be able to make friends?”, “Will his friends like me?”, “Will I be able to fit in to their group?”, “Will I like it?”, “Will I miss India terribly?”, “Will I have a smooth transition from a working independent girl to a home maker?” etc. etc. However, I had a rock beside me, and that was my husband. I knew he would do everything possible to make me feel comfortable. On that note, I put on a smile on my face, stepped out of the aircraft and thought “Let’s do it”.

As we approached the Immigration check, we saw a never ending queue. Deep within, I thought “Okayyy, some more time before I get out and face it”. Was I nervous? Or scared? I had butterflies in my stomach. Having travelled to other countries didn’t really help in channelizing my thoughts. Just then two or three other newly married couples caught my attention. The girls were wearing all sorts and colors of threads (taali as it’s called in Tamil and Telugu) and chains (Mangalsutra) around their necks and that’s how I made out that they were newly married tooJ. Just like me, they too were here after getting married and probably the same thoughts were running in their mind too. Whatever they thought, I started feeling a little better. I saw that I wasn’t alone and it stopped being a situation anymore (I knew I still had a long way to go).

After a long wait, our turn came. After completing all the formalities, we took a cab and left for our home. “OUR HOME”..! I wasn’t able to believe that I was on route to our home. It was going to be a house that would become a home with our love and affection. It all seemed to be like a dream. I still felt like a spoilt, pampered and irresponsible daughter.

On the way, my husband showed me Indian stores, good restaurants and few other landmarks. As he kept on telling what is what, I started memorizing the names and landmarks (not to forget, I had to run a house). Twenty minutes later, we reached home and we were welcomed by a friend of my husbands and a bunch of balloons and party scraps saying “Congratulations”. It was indeed a warm welcome. The day passed by in grocery and home essentials shopping (done by my dear beloved, I was busy sleeping. Jet lag you seeJ).

Next day happened. I woke up to a bright and sunny morning. I decided to make breakfast for my man and the menu was bread omelet. As he was getting ready, I began my kitchen career by making a sweet dish followed by bread omelet. It was going to be the first meal made by me for him. As I was making it with all love and affection, I hear the smoke detector go off. I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. Things came in control eventually, but the experience was “Terrific”J. Bread omelet was a hit and I was happy!

That was how I began my journeys – Journey of living in the US, journey of being a home maker and the journey of being a wife. Days passed by and all my questions and doubts were answered. I was running a household, I came to terms with the fact that am a housewife now and am absolutely enjoying myself being that. I became friends with his friends. We started hosting dinners and lunches. We went places and started having the time of our lives.

I started having my firsts in many things and it has so far been a wonderful and joyous journey. Nevertheless, I miss India. I miss Hyderabad. I miss the hustle bustle on the streets and the shopping complexes. I miss the uncontrolled traffic. I miss being with my near and dear ones on festivals.  I miss going to office. I miss coming back home to a sumptuous meal made by mom. I miss the late night conversations with my brother. I miss dad’s pampering. I miss Hyderabadi Biryani. I miss the chat thelas, and the list is endless.

There’s just one thing I don’t miss. And that is LOVE. I have an abode of love with me that compensates for everything. And the one thing that I’ve learnt is – any place in this world becomes worth living in, only when there’s a person/ family/ friends worth living with.

I am thankful for all the goodness in my life and wish the same happiness for everyone!

Peace and Love!